“Stop taking two and three plates of food,” my mother said to me angrily. I was at a wedding and seven years old. Back then, at a lot of the weddings we used to go to, the food would be pre-served on a plate. I could never get enough of those calorie-ridden platters. Waylaying different waiters, (so I would not be recognised), I’d polish 3-4 plates without blinking an eye. Mum wasn’t impressed, and told me to stop and desist. “Why?” I’d ask. Her stock reply was always, “It’s bad manner...

1. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- by Jack Handy 2. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning...

I Always Believed that We Humans would bring about our own destruction. there are so many things in this world that makes me think how we even survived as long as we have. We have wars, racism , children dying of hunger when just a few bloack away people eats three square meals a day,Wepons that could destroy our own planet in an instant, priests that sexually abuses the children who trusts them and leaders who care about nothing more than to make themselves more powerful, instead of serving t...

10 Things That Piss Me Off......10 being what i hate the most 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, buddy... where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?? 2. People in the supermarket check out line who wait until their entire bill is rung up before they begin writing their check. Hello...is the store name going to change, or the date, or your signature before the clerk finishes? Get a clue! 3. Peo...

Step 1: Don’t fudge your packing Resilient pests like cockroaches and Danny Bonaduce won’t be the only ones to survive an atomic apocalypse. But to have a shot, you need to prepack some gear in a handy duffel bag. “I call it a bug-out kit,” says Bruce Beach, author of You Will Survive Doomsday. “Aluminum knives, candles, small sewing kits, comfortable shoes—a wide variety of things.” (For more info, go to ki4u.com/products1.htm.) Make sure to bring a shortwave radio with a small antenna, a rech...

i My school life. hmm the best way to describe it is probably nomadic. i have been to 5 schools since kinder to highschool. i dont know why but it just seems like trouble follows me everywhere i go... or maybe its because im the one who causes all the trouble. Kinder; i was hitting my classmate with a ballon continiously when my teacher popped the ballon i was holding. in my anger i took off my shoe and threw it at my teacher. grade one; two sixth graders were bullying me. they were hitting me w...

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like a heel. well here are a few excuses for when you meet the people you were with the other night when you were drunk. feel free to add some of your own. YOU’RE NOT A BIG FAT HOG, YOU HAVE… Lardophilia Symptoms: Steadily increasing difficulty in securing one’s trousers without an elaborate pulley system and three roadies. In extreme cases, sufferer may begin smelling like a burger to those around him/her. Treatment: Drink plenty of fluid...

We have a saying in the philippines"if you want to learn a new language start with the insults' here are a few from the world over.gonna step foot on another country? learn these few simple phrases and after a while you can insult foreingers like a native. France: Salop= bastard votre equipe football est merde= you football team is shit la ou je viens de l'inceste n'est pas encourage= where i come from incest isnt encouraged. va te tripoter= Go tinker with yourself il ya du monde au ba...

Manufacturers of consumer products have to be liberal with the warning labels these days, lest they get sued. But for these, it's hard to know whether the company is being outright stupid or if they're simply targeting the most brain dead dumb among us. check it out: These are My Favorites: "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In th...

To anyone who got irritated about the multiple posts of mine, i just want you guys to know i apologize. i didnt know that clicking the submit article 6 or so times would also post it six times. i was irritated because my modem is so slow. anyway sorry again.

have any of you wondered what thoughts are? i mean, are the just a bunch of electrical impulses in our brain? And what happens after we had a thought? does it go somewhere else? this may sound stupid but, sometimes its really irritating when i suddenly think of something then it disappears like smoke a second after. This is a question that hold real importance to me, because thought is what makes us different from other biengs in our world. can anyone explain the awareness of self and environmen...

I was just watching an axn weeken marathon of maximum exposure. anyone know this tv show? hahaha isnt it the best . anyway for those of you who dont know about this show, its something like the worlds weirdest police chases ,except that it covers more stories than just things happening to cops. anyway if any of you still havent seen this show i suggest that you try to find a cable operator who has it.

Its yummy for my tummy . hmm eating pringles while checking my mails and making testimonials in friendster. i love pringles.

Everyone has a plan for their life, an outline if you will. Well this is a short list of things that i would like to do before i die. 1. Buy a house of my own 2. Have a big backyard 3. Find someone i can live with for the rest of my life 4. Have three children (2 boys and a girl) 5. being true to the one that i fall in love with. 6. Fly a Plane 7. Live as another person for one whole year.(using an alias) 8. Cliff dive (done) 9. Pick a fight in a bar and win(done) 10. Go on a Cruise...

I am in a dark place, yet i can see myself clearly. What kind of dream is this, i can’t seem to be able to control it. Hmm. might as well see where this will lead. i never had a lucid dream i didn’t have any control over. i look around seeing nothing at first. I tried to think of having a pack of Marlboro, but it seem like it wont work in this dream... i look down and realize i didn’t even have any clothes on. Hmm, im beginning to doubt this is even a dream. Where is this place anyway? What’s th...