Resume GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20520 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any q...
Hey anyone know why i cant seem to log off from this account? my cousin has an account here and hes getting pissed that he cant log in. anyway, any help you guys give would be deeply appreciated. Ed
Hmmm... Well most people i know think im a bad ass but this is not so. im just a guy who does whatever i want to do. If i was wrong then i just accept the fact that i made a mistake.i hate a person who never takes responsibility for their mistakes, i believe them to be weak. I think that I'm as intelligent as the next person (unless that person is Einstein), Most people who thinks they know me believes that I have no goals in life. I guess to a person who doesn't know me too well this will seem ...
To anyone who got irritated about the multiple posts of mine, i just want you guys to know i apologize. i didnt know that clicking the submit article 6 or so times would also post it six times. i was irritated because my modem is so slow. anyway sorry again.
Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it's annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they'll never understand... 1. Our consuming need to own the biggest and most expen...
We have a saying in the philippines"if you want to learn a new language start with the insults' here are a few from the world over.gonna step foot on another country? learn these few simple phrases and after a while you can insult foreingers like a native. France: Salop= bastard votre equipe football est merde= you football team is shit la ou je viens de l'inceste n'est pas encourage= where i come from incest isnt encouraged. va te tripoter= Go tinker with yourself il ya du monde au ba...
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like a heel. well here are a few excuses for when you meet the people you were with the other night when you were drunk. feel free to add some of your own. YOU’RE NOT A BIG FAT HOG, YOU HAVE… Lardophilia Symptoms: Steadily increasing difficulty in securing one’s trousers without an elaborate pulley system and three roadies. In extreme cases, sufferer may begin smelling like a burger to those around him/her. Treatment: Drink plenty of fluid...
Manufacturers of consumer products have to be liberal with the warning labels these days, lest they get sued. But for these, it's hard to know whether the company is being outright stupid or if they're simply targeting the most brain dead dumb among us. check it out: These are My Favorites: "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In th...
i My school life. hmm the best way to describe it is probably nomadic. i have been to 5 schools since kinder to highschool. i dont know why but it just seems like trouble follows me everywhere i go... or maybe its because im the one who causes all the trouble. Kinder; i was hitting my classmate with a ballon continiously when my teacher popped the ballon i was holding. in my anger i took off my shoe and threw it at my teacher. grade one; two sixth graders were bullying me. they were hitting me w...
Step 1: Don’t fudge your packing Resilient pests like cockroaches and Danny Bonaduce won’t be the only ones to survive an atomic apocalypse. But to have a shot, you need to prepack some gear in a handy duffel bag. “I call it a bug-out kit,” says Bruce Beach, author of You Will Survive Doomsday. “Aluminum knives, candles, small sewing kits, comfortable shoes—a wide variety of things.” (For more info, go to ki4u.com/products1.htm.) Make sure to bring a shortwave radio with a small antenna, a rech...
1. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- by Jack Handy 2. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning...
Usefull if you have a friend that knows latin and thinks he is a super cool because of it. Latin Swearing Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum screw you and the horse you rode in on Tu plenus sterco es You are full of shit (lit. you are packed with shit) Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Caesar si...
This ones pretty good. Maxim always comes up with the funniest and coolest articles The world hates a cheater, right? Well, the world hates a loser even more. If you can win fair and square, great; the grandkids will be proud of you someday. But remember what you learned in fifth grade: Copy off the smart girl’s test and you’ll pass every time. And that little cheat never hurt anyone. Now you’re all grown up, but there are still obstacles to your pursuit of happiness. While we’d never advoc...
Clever people find life easy when fools find it hard, and often it's hard for the clever and easy for the fool. Who ought to have had patience with me if I hadn't had any myself? How good it would have been for us if only we had understood or been told earlier that one is never on better terms with a woman friend than when praising our rival. For then her heart opens up, every fear of hurting you, her worry that she might lose you, has vanished; she takes you into her confidence and you...
One moment you’re happily stranded on a desert island with a buxom blonde; the next you’re being chased by an angry mob of Peter Lorre look-alikes wielding hideously large Vienna sausages. No wonder you wake up in the morning and think, What was that all about? Though the meanings of dreams largely vary with personal experience, the interpretations of certain symbols are universal. “Symbols in dreams are like symbols in literature and mythology,” explains Dr. Morton J. Aronson, professor of psyc...