A funny oath for people with friends. When you are sad,............. I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad. When you are blue,....... I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you. When you smile,............ I'll know you finally got laid. When you are scared,......... I will rag you about it every chance I get. When you are worried,......... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. When...

Did you just cheat and because of it got a STD? If you did then dont tell you partner. when she starts to realize something is wrong and she goes to her doctor for a check-up go with her. When they get the result saying that she has it, then you can lay the blame on her by telling her that you will have a check-up yourself. When you get the results go to her and lay the blame on her for giving you the disease. (Please note that you must be already training to run a marathon in case she fi...

Having problems getting a date for a school dance? the best thing to do so you not look like a total loser is to be nice to other losers like you. Since you are a loser you should also date losers like yourself. the best way to do this is to get the ugliest girl/guy in your school by throwing yourself at his/her feet. at least when the day of the dance comes you arent gonna be the one who brought your retard of a cousin to the dance.

To all you ladies out there. Are you finding yourself fighting with your guy a lot more than usual? Heres a tip that i always give my lady friends. When you boyfriend/husband comes home you should already have their food at the table. After taking his coat and giving him his slippers you should then start dinner. while he is eating you should drop your fork "accidentaly", while you are under te table you should then go towards him unzip his pant and give him a blowjob while he is eating his s...

I dont know if any of these are true but, Damn!!!these guys must be the dumbest people of all time!!! Idiot #1: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end the conversation happened to mention that she ga...

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping? 2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't goingas ghosts but as mattresses? 3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 4. Is there another word for synonym? 5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? 6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a planecrash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 7. If a parsley farmer is sued, c...

1. We keep our last name. 2. The garage is all ours. 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 5. We can be president. 6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 7. Car mechanics tell us the truth. 8. we dont get to be pregnant.(ouch) 9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. 10. Same work, more pay. 11. Wrinkles add character. 12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. 13. People never stare at our ...

Each time i read this a smile slowly creeps to my face. 1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not ...

Some entertaining stuff 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. ...

A funny oath for people with friends. When you are sad,............. I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad. When you are blue,....... I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you. When you smile,............ I'll know you finally got laid. When you are scared,......... I will rag you about it every chance I get. When you are worried,......... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. When...

Did you just cheat and because of it got a STD? If you did then dont tell you partner. when she starts to realize something is wrong and she goes to her doctor for a check-up go with her. When they get the result saying that she has it, then you can lay the blame on her by telling her that you will have a check-up yourself. When you get the results go to her and lay the blame on her for giving you the disease. (Please note that you must be already training to run a marathon in case she fi...

Having problems getting a date for a school dance? the best thing to do so you not look like a total loser is to be nice to other losers like you. Since you are a loser you should also date losers like yourself. the best way to do this is to get the ugliest girl/guy in your school by throwing yourself at his/her feet. at least when the day of the dance comes you arent gonna be the one who brought your retard of a cousin to the dance.

To all you ladies out there. Are you finding yourself fighting with your guy a lot more than usual? Heres a tip that i always give my lady friends. When you boyfriend/husband comes home you should already have their food at the table. After taking his coat and giving him his slippers you should then start dinner. while he is eating you should drop your fork "accidentaly", while you are under te table you should then go towards him unzip his pant and give him a blowjob while he is eating his s...

I dont know if any of these are true but, Damn!!!these guys must be the dumbest people of all time!!! Idiot #1: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end the conversation happened to mention that she ga...

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping? 2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't goingas ghosts but as mattresses? 3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 4. Is there another word for synonym? 5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? 6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a planecrash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 7. If a parsley farmer is sued, c...