1. You can enjoy a BEER all month.
2. BEER stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
4. Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in
the car.
5. When BEER goes flat you toss it out.
6. BEER is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab
another BEER.
9. BEER labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can
always pick up a BEER.
11. BEER never has a headache.
12. After you have a BEER, the bottle is still worth
a dime.
13. A BEER won't get upset if you come home
with BEER on your breath.
14. If you pour a BEER right, you will always get
good head.
15. You can have more than one BEER a night
and not feel guilty.
16. A BEER ALWAYS goes down easy.
17. You can share a BEER with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to
pop a BEER.
19. A BEER is always wet.
20. BEER doesn't demand equality.
21. A BEER doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a BEER in public.
23. A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
24. You don't have to wash a BEER before it
tastes good.
25. BEER always comes in multiples of six.
26. BEER doesn't mind being in the "wet spot"
that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a
BEER.
28. After you have a BEER, you're committed to
nothing other than dumping the
empty bottle.
29. A BEER never costs you more than five
dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
30. When your BEER is gone, you just pop
another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find BEER labels on the
shower curtain rod.
32. BEER looks the same in the morning.
33. BEER doesn't look you up in a month.
34. BEER doesn't worry about someone walking
in.
35. BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. BEER doesn't get cramps.
37. BEER doesn't have a mother.
38. BEER doesn't have morals.
39. BEER doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. BEER always listens and never argues.
41. BEER labels don't go out of style every year.
42. BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles.
43. BEER doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. BEER doesn't demand legality.
45. BEER is never overweight.
46. If you change BEERs, you don't have to pay
alimony.
47. BEER won't run off with your credit cards.
48. BEER doesn't have a lawyer.
49. BEER doesn't need much closet space.
50. BEER can't give your herpes or other nasty
things.