Going through a time of depression, sitting at work unable to concentrate on anything meaningful, not quite depressed enough to cap myself, I started surfing for articles on suicide methods. I found this thread. Almost every point made here is valid, in one way or another. But one important issue has not been addressed. Consider how many "accidental" deaths may have been suicides. Though I admit it is morbid, I can semi-objectively gauge the severity of my depression by the visions in my suicidal thoughts. The positive thing about this is that I have survived many serious bouts of depression and learned from them. I can more easily tell when it is getting dangerous and time to call the doc for a change in meds or something. Conversely, I am becoming complacent about being moderately suicidal. To me it is not an unusual state.

Perhaps I sound to you like a grossly pathetic slug. If you were to meet me, you wouldn't think that --- you would never know. I have a decent management job, and work my butt off. I have a pretty good marriage and 2 good kids. I'm active in my church, PTA, etc.. You would think I was at least as normal as most. But I have frequently thought of suicide since I was in my mid-twenties (I'm in my early 40's now). Following are my stages of suicidal thought. God only knows if anyone else on Earth has similar thoughts. I hope not.

STAGE 1 - Quick Thoughts of Escape
Quick thoughts of suicide as a means of escape from the pain and drugery that life can seem to be. This can be a quick thought of "I'd just like to die". It could be a really sick suicide song going through my head, like: (to the tune of Camp Town Races) Oh I want to kill myself - do-da, do-da. Put bullet in my brain - oh do-da day! Sadly these little songs can get even worse. And then there are quick visions of suicidal acts. One that I had for years was a vision of me diving head first into one of those commercial chipper-shedders that tree trimming companies use. Other times it's a simpler vision of holding a gun to my head and pulling a trigger. As disgusting as this may sound, it still isn't serious - mainly because I don't spend a great deal of time on these thoughts. They come often but don't last long.

STAGE 2 - Planned But Not Realistic
Elaborately staged suicides. I might spend a great deal of time thinking these through. Most involve a real guillotine. These are unrealistic because they are too difficult to do. Also in this stage are thoughts about jumping off the top of skyscrapers. Because of the business I am in, this would be easy. I categorize it as unrealistic since I wouldn't go through with it because of the pain it would cause my family.

STAGE 3 - Real Plans, Hidden Suicide or Staged Accidents
I few times I have worked out plans to kill myself so that, at least hopefully, no one would know that it was suicide. One involves leaving my vehicle at a convenience store in a bad part of town with the keys and some of my own blood inside. Then I would take a cab to a steak house in another part of town, paying cash for the cab so it can't be traced. After the restaurant is closed and all employees have gone, I would climb into the dumpster, hide myself under trash, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. If my blood leaked from the dumpster, it wouldn't be noticed due to the blood from the meat boxes. Hopefully my car would have been stolen and later found trashed and abandoned with my blood inside. I'm just another crime statistic. I've created staged car accidents, electrocutions and more. I keep coming back to the dumpster plan as it seems the most likely to succeed. The only downside I see is the outside chance of someone stealing my car, getting caught, and being wrongly convicted of my murder.

Hopefully I will never test any of my plans. In any event, do not underestimate the sucess rate of suicide attempts. Many successful ones are never realized for what they really are.

for anybody that trashes ppl who are suicidal FUCK YOU..iggnorant dum fucks!!! u have NO fuckin idea how it feels to wanna die..and therfore u have No fuckin right to be telling people that theyre wrong for feeling that way...suicide is a way of looking at life..to me it iz a comfort..ive wanted to die since i was 11..im still here, not by choice..it just happened this way...and not a day goes by when i dont think about just doing it...if u feel like u wanna die, and u have really thought it over, do it...its not like youll be missing anything..ppl say its selfish to your family and friends..well if your family and friends felt that frustration, and that hopelessness that u have inside..and they still wanted u to live..theyre the selfish ones... and when people say u have a whole wonderful life ahead of u to live, and that its a stupid decision, theyre full of shit..