i just broke up with my girl today. It kinda hurts since i still love her. but i just cant deal with all the paranoia! i know i did some things in the past that i shouldnt have done, things that hurt her, but ever since the day i told her i have been loyal to her. there isnt a week that she doesnt bring up my past mistakes. it got worse when i started working again. Whenever i meet a girl at work she will start this fight about me wanting to leave her for someone new.
I dont know what to do anymore, i love her, but she's bringing me closer and closer to the edge of insanit with all that she is doing. i feel like im turning into the monster she claims i am and that scares me the most. Im scared the when the im pushed off the edge i might become the person i hate, the person she alwas compares me to. The only thing i have ever wished was for me to be everything she wants me to be. i tried to be this person but she never saw the effort i that i was giving. all she could see was the mistakes i have done in the past. i know she loves me too. but she just makes it hard for me to become what she want when every day she reminds me of the past.
i dont know what to do anmore, i feel so helpless. however much i want us to be together i just cant stand it when she accuses me of thing that i didnt do. Fuck!!! i hate my life right now.
i feel so empty right now. i just broken-up with someone whom i still love. i dont think i ever felt this way before. i love her but what shes doing is killing me slowly.